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Thursday Rant — I haven’t done this for a while



After a tornado, I once lived 5 days without electricity, phone or Internet. Yes, it’s true, friends. My face melted off and I clawed at the doors of my house until I burst out into…

What is this place? It smells fresh and has tall stick-like things with branches and there are clouds? I only write about those things. Do they, in fact, exist?

Most of my day is spent playing in my imagination, and that means I only connect with my kids when I throw them a plate of grub (okay, I’m exaggerating. I tell them to get off the damn Kindle because it’s Mommy’s turn.) and when I chat with friends online. So when my Internet goes down, which it does at least 2x a week, I might not handle it very well.

Or at all. I scream at the blinking green lights on the modem telling me there really is an Internet connection. But there isn’t! Lies! *stabs blinking green light-eyes with my Jetstream pen.*

Deep breath. How will I survive the 9 minutes I’m without service? Why do I live in the country where there is only 1 service provider?  How do you survive the No-Internet Apocalypse? Please share your insanity.


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