I come to you today because I have an addiction. It’s true, friends.
I’m an infomercial junkie!
Try to sell me prime swampland face to face and I probably won’t bite. But add a half-hour TV time slot, a few flashy graphics, a deep male voice, and a phone number at the bottom of the screen, and I’m lassoed.
Since childhood I’ve suffered from insomnia. This means I watch a lot of late-night TV. Unless you’re lucky enough to find a cooking show or an episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Queen, you’re stuck watching infomercials.
In my pre-dawn, BC (before coffee) delirium, I’m most susceptible to any of the following:
food lovers diet
no debt solutions
laser hair removal at home!
teaching my kids a language
helping said kids with math
However, when the sun blinks its eye over the lip of the land, my mind suddenly looks at these commercials like cheap scams. Sometimes I wake up and find my wallet lying open and the Shark Vacuum infomercial on. Just like that man you nabbed last night at the bar, mornings don’t always make things look better. Especially when the Shark Vacuum shows up in a box on your porch.
Have you ever been lured into the infomercial trap? I’d love to hear what you’ve ordered!
Thanks for reading,